Forget You

I seriously hate you and your BS. You're not the same person who we all used to love. You're becoming someone who no one WANTS to love. It's just sad. To see that someone who I used to look up to, who inspired me to do music, who had a big heart in missions, is now having an affair. This isn't just some girlfriend that you can just play around with. This is your fucking wife we're talking about. Who gave you four kids. You won't consider your family with this stupid decision that you're making?! Once we're gone, who are you going to turn to for family? That fucking slut?! Let's be real, you have no other family. Your own niece and nephew don't talk to you anymore. Oh yeah, you've really made a good decision. No matter how much we say what we feel, no matter how much scripture we throw at you, no matter how much times we say it's sin, you still just don't give a damn. You say, "This is God orchestrating our lives." Bullshit. This is your own stubbornness that created all this shit to happen in our lives. Not God. God wouldn't make you cheat on your wife and file a divorce. Honestly.. OPEN YOUR EYES. I swear, you're just so fucking hard-headed you just want to do what you want. Well you know what? God will seriously handle you. If you don't want to change then fine. Bahala ka sa buhay mo. I'm done with you.

Just Friends

"Here you are

You turned my sadness into light

Now my darkness seems so bright

Cause you mean everything to me, baby

Who would've known

That from all the boys that I can see

You're the one who's meant for me

Cause you mean everything to me, baby

Cause it's you, you, you and me"

 - You & Me, Written by Diane Lim  

I wrote that song awhile back in early September, but never showed it to you.. yet. It's not finished yet.. It's still a working progress. I wrote it a week after that moment in August. But things have gotten different now. I don't know why I can't be straight up with you? Why can't I tell you how I really feel? How come I can't talk normally with you being there? It's like I'm always nervous, but in the butterflies type of way. If only you still knew how I felt.. Maybe things would be different? I don't know. It's crazy how as of right now, YOU'RE JUST RIGHT THERE. I don't get how I've liked you for so long, but it's only 'til now that it's actually hitting me on how much I like you. In August, when we had our talk, I thought it was just a little crush thing.. I guess not anymore. Asdjflk. I know that we've decided to just stay as friends, but I don't know anymore.. I don't. I wished we were like how we used to be. Like when we were real best friends. Always having deep talks, random talks, always laughing, sharing good company - just always having good times. You always being there for me, and me doing the same. I miss those days. Ever since August, I feel like when we said what we said, it sort of changed US.. just a little.. just a lot. But, being best friends since forever, knowing each other since birth and our families being really close.. That's gotta mean something, right? I guess I'm trying to say... Akin ka na lang.

Sweet Dream .

It's crazy how dreams feel so surreal. How it can relate to whatever you're going through. Last night, I had a dream that my best friend and I were making a kite together. In the dream, we have been making this kite for the longest time. Finally, when this kite was ready, we took it out to fly it. We were having fun and laughing. That moment was the happiest I've even been in my life - just finally spending time with my best friend. All of a sudden, the wind got stronger. It had gotten so strong that we were struggling to hold onto it. Then she said these exact words, "I can't hold on forever". Hurt and confused, I wondered how she can give up our "kite". She slowly let go of the kite, and I was by myself trying to save it.