Just Friends

"Here you are

You turned my sadness into light

Now my darkness seems so bright

Cause you mean everything to me, baby

Who would've known

That from all the boys that I can see

You're the one who's meant for me

Cause you mean everything to me, baby

Cause it's you, you, you and me"

 - You & Me, Written by Diane Lim  

I wrote that song awhile back in early September, but never showed it to you.. yet. It's not finished yet.. It's still a working progress. I wrote it a week after that moment in August. But things have gotten different now. I don't know why I can't be straight up with you? Why can't I tell you how I really feel? How come I can't talk normally with you being there? It's like I'm always nervous, but in the butterflies type of way. If only you still knew how I felt.. Maybe things would be different? I don't know. It's crazy how as of right now, YOU'RE JUST RIGHT THERE. I don't get how I've liked you for so long, but it's only 'til now that it's actually hitting me on how much I like you. In August, when we had our talk, I thought it was just a little crush thing.. I guess not anymore. Asdjflk. I know that we've decided to just stay as friends, but I don't know anymore.. I don't. I wished we were like how we used to be. Like when we were real best friends. Always having deep talks, random talks, always laughing, sharing good company - just always having good times. You always being there for me, and me doing the same. I miss those days. Ever since August, I feel like when we said what we said, it sort of changed US.. just a little.. just a lot. But, being best friends since forever, knowing each other since birth and our families being really close.. That's gotta mean something, right? I guess I'm trying to say... Akin ka na lang.

Sweet Dream .

It's crazy how dreams feel so surreal. How it can relate to whatever you're going through. Last night, I had a dream that my best friend and I were making a kite together. In the dream, we have been making this kite for the longest time. Finally, when this kite was ready, we took it out to fly it. We were having fun and laughing. That moment was the happiest I've even been in my life - just finally spending time with my best friend. All of a sudden, the wind got stronger. It had gotten so strong that we were struggling to hold onto it. Then she said these exact words, "I can't hold on forever". Hurt and confused, I wondered how she can give up our "kite". She slowly let go of the kite, and I was by myself trying to save it.